The Science of Rushing: Why Slowing Down Helps Our Minds and Our Kids

I don’t know about you, but some days I feel like I’m sprinting from the moment my feet hit the floor. Packing lunches while answering emails, reminding kids to put on shoes while mentally rehearsing my day, and then racing into work already feeling behind.

If that sounds familiar—it’s because so many of us are living in a constant state of rush. And while it may feel like the only way to “keep up,” science is showing us that this rushed pace has a direct impact on anxiety, mood, and even long-term mental health—for both adults and children.

This is not just a “modern life is busy” problem. Rushing actually changes the way our brain and body function. Let’s talk about what’s going on underneath the surface, and what we can do instead.

The Science of Rushing

When we’re rushing, our nervous system goes into fight-or-flight mode. That means cortisol and adrenaline are released into the bloodstream, heart rate increases, and our brain shifts to short-term, quick-decision thinking. Great if you’re being chased by a bear—not so great when you’re just trying to get everyone to school on time.

Over time, living in this state wires the brain to anticipate stress even when it’s not there. This is why we might feel on edge in traffic, snap at our kids, or find it nearly impossible to “just relax.”

For children, the effects can be even more pronounced. Kids who are constantly hurried learn to associate daily routines with tension. Their brains begin to adapt to stress as the “normal” background hum, making focus, emotional regulation, and even sleep more difficult.

New Frameworks for Understanding Rushing

Traditionally, people have thought of rushing as a time-management issue—“if I just get more organized, I won’t feel so rushed.” But newer frameworks point to something deeper:

• Rushing as a nervous system state. It’s less about time on the clock and more about what mode our brain and body are in. If our body believes we’re in danger (even if the “danger” is just being late), it floods us with stress responses.

  
  

• Rushing as a learned pattern. Many of us grew up in homes where busyness equaled worth, or where slowing down wasn’t modeled. Without realizing it, we’ve trained ourselves (and sometimes our kids) to live at a pace that isn’t sustainable.

  
  

• Rushing as disconnection. When we’re rushing, we aren’t present. We’re either stuck in the “what’s next” or the “I’m already behind.” That lack of presence can create disconnection from our kids, our spouse, our work, and even ourselves.

  
  

What to Do Instead

Here’s the part where I don’t pretend I have this all figured out. These are the same reminders I’m practicing myself:

1. Notice the body, not the clock. Instead of asking, “Do I have enough time?” try asking, “What state is my body in right now?” If your shoulders are tight, your breath is shallow, and your chest feels hot—you’re in a rush state. Pause and reset before pushing forward.

   
   

2. Practice micro-slowdowns. You don’t have to overhaul your schedule overnight. Try adding just 30 seconds of pause—three slow breaths before you start the car, one minute of stillness before a meeting, two minutes of quiet before waking up the kids. These micro-moments signal to your nervous system: “We’re safe.”

   
   

3. Reframe routines. Mornings and evenings are where rushing shows up most. Instead of asking “How do I get this done faster?” try asking, “How can this feel calmer?” Maybe it’s laying things out the night before, maybe it’s waking five minutes earlier, or maybe it’s choosing to let something slide.

   
   

4. Model slowness for kids. Children catch what we live. When they see us pausing to take a breath instead of yelling “hurry up,” they learn that calm is an option. Sometimes that’s more powerful than any words we could say.

   
   

5. Choose presence over perfection. Most of the rushing comes from trying to do it all and do it flawlessly. But when we release perfection, presence naturally follows. And presence is what our kids (and our own nervous system) crave most.

   
   

A Gentle Reminder

You don’t have to earn rest by getting everything done. You don’t have to rush to prove you’re capable. And you don’t have to live at a frantic pace for your life to matter.

Our brains and bodies were designed for rhythms, not relentless speed. When we slow down—even just a little—we give ourselves, and our children, the gift of calm, connection, and clarity.

I’m writing this as much for myself as for anyone else. Maybe we can practice it together.